The Padded Room of DOOM
by Christina B
Summary: What happens when Frodo Baggins, Wolverine, Spock, Spike, Dr. Cox, and Obi-Wan Kenobi get trapped in a padded room together by two evil authoresses? Randomness and insanity of course!


Disclaimer: I don't own anything really except for AuthoressC. I also don't own the loud portal of doom, that is something one of my good friends invented one time when she was desperate for some caffeine. This is also rated T just because of some mild swearing.

AN: This is something incredibly silly that my friend Katy and I invented during a sleep over some time in 2006. This was originally a role play written in a chatroom that we labeled The Padded Room of DOOM. I just found this saved on my hard drive, and I decided to embellish it a bit and post it here. We are well aware of the fact that this story is pointless, silly, and the characters may be out of character, but this was originally a means of fighting boredom. So if you don't like it, don't bother to flame me because I will just laugh because you obviously didn't read this note. I hope you enjoy it for what it's worth.

FYI:

RngBearer- Frodo Baggins

ClawsRCool- Logan "Wolverine"

JediMaster- Obi-Wan Kenobi

HJackmanSuks- Dr. Perry Cox

LiveLongNProsper- Spock

BloodISGood- Spike

AuthoressC- Christina

AuthoressK- Katy

**The Padded Room of DOOM**

One boring, predictable day, two girls Katy and Christina had a brilliant idea. The idea was so magnificent, wonderful, and altogether exciting that they had absolutely, positively no choice but to move forward with their cunning plan.

They decided to each kidnap three of their favorite characters. Katy apprehended Spock, Spike, and Dr. Perry Cox in a nefarious fashion, and Christina attacked (with surprising agility) Frodo Baggins, Logan "Wolverine", and Obi-Wan Kenobi. It worked out surprisingly easy considering their prey, and the next step was to trap then in cyberspace, namely an internet chatroom.

**OnlineHost: *** You are in "PADDED ROOM OF DOOM". *****

RngBearer: What is this place? Sam, where are you?

ClawsRCool: Someone is going to pay for this! ::Looks around suspiciously::

BloodISGood: Something smells good. ::Eyes the hobbit::

JediMaster: I sense a disturbance in the Force.

LiveLongNProsper: That is illogical.

HJackmanSuks: I sense an annoying twat, and why the hell does he look like Hugh Jackman. ::Points at ClawsRCool::

ClawsRCool: Watch it bub! ::Holds out fists threateningly.::

AuthoressK: Be nice!

JediMaster: Who are you? And why have you brought us here?

AuthoressC: I'm Christina and this is Katy, we are the evil authoresses who've brought you to this little piece of cyberspace, so be nice!

HJackmanSuks: This is ridiculous, I have better things to do with my time!

BloodISGood: Me too, and I'm hungry! ::Glances at the hobbit again::

RngBearer: I am so confused.

HJackmanSuks: This has to be my worst nightmare. Stuck with Hugh Jackman's doppelganger, a midget and some other seriously demented idiots who have horrible fashion sense. Am I the only sane one here?

ClawsRCool: ::Logan rolled his eyes:: I'm fed up with this "let's play nice even though none of us know what they hell we are doing here." I want some answers!

AuthoressC: You have to be patient for now, we're having fun!

ClawsRCool: ::Curses under his breath.::

BloodISGood: :: Doing the creature of the night thing; lurking::

RngBearer: ::Sees BloodISGood getting closer and stands up looking at the vampire nervously::

AuthoressK: Do not eat the hobbit or I'll do something evil to you!

AuthoressC: Yeah and I will kill you!

RngBearer: ::Breathes a sigh of relief and walks forward and accidently bumping into LiveLongNProsper::

BloodISGood: Why you two are quite the bitches aren't you?

AuthoressC: Of course we are, but you can't stop us so neener neener boo boo!!!

LiveLongNProsper: What is neener neener boo boo?

AuthoressC: Nunya business!

ClawsRCool: Who the hell is the weird vampy guy who is after the little midget?

BloodISGood: Spike, and I would watch it if I were you.

ClawsRCool: Likewise ::Unsheathes claws briefly::

LiveLongNProsper: Are you okay young fellow?

RngBearer: I'm fine, but I'm not that young. I'm fifty years old.

BloodISGood: Bloody hell, anyone in this room over a hundred years old?

ClawsRCool: I think I am, but if the damn people wouldn't have messed with my mind I would remember.

HJackmanSuks: God! This is better than my stories!

ClawsRCool: What the hell are you talking about? ::Glares at the doctor::

HJackmanSuks: Soap Opera! Geez Am I speaking another language to you people!

RngBearer: Err...I have never heard of a Soap Opera.

JediMaster: Do you mean a holo-drama?

ClawsRCool:::to BloodISGood:: I don't age very much so I have no idea how old I am.

HJackmanSuks: I guess so, but I'm just a doctor how in the hell am I supposed to be a diplomat with species I never heard of before?

RngBearer: I'm a hobbit actually.

BloodISGood: That's all right, mate I'm over 120 years old, but I don't look like a day over 25.::to ClawsRCool::

ClawsRCool: ::Chuckles:: Do you have a healing factor too?

BloodISGood Yeah, but I like to think that I'm just a tough and resilient guy. Minus the demon in me.

ClawsRCool: Ironically enough...we have quite a bit in common.

BloodISGood: That is scary

ClawsRCool: Sorry about the whole...'vampy' thing.

BloodISGood: I kind of like it, I'm more alive this way. As a human I was a bloody pounce.

ClawsRCool: ::Chuckles:: I see. I have an idea, why don't we all try and get to know each other better. Seeing as how these psychotic ladies won't let us out anyways.

RngBearer:That is the best thing I've heard so far.

BloodISGood: True, this is hell isn't it?

HJackmanSuks: No, hell is where I work, but since I have no other pressing matters let's talk.

JediMaster: I agree. Only by talking and negotiating can we sort this out.

ClawsRCool: Most definitely.

LiveLongNProsper: I concur with the robed man

AuthoressK: I'm so happy that everyone is getting along!

AuthoressC: I HAVE AN IDEA!!!

AuthoressK: What?

AuthoressC:This is going to sound very 1st gradeish, but your guys should go around the room tell something about yourselves!

JediMaster: Very well, I'll begin. I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi and I'm a Jedi Master and General, and a part of the Jedi Order on Coruscant. That is the capital of the galaxy Republic where I live. I enjoy meditating, lightsaber sparring and long walks in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

ClawsRCool:::Rolls his eyes::

BloodISGood: ::Gives a weird look to Obi Wan::

JediMaster: ::Obi-Wan looks confused::

LiveLongNProsper: I am a Vulcan and I'm currently serving on the starship the USS Enterprise under Captain James T. Kirk. My position is First Officer and Science Officer.

RngBearer: I'm Frodo Baggins. I'm a hobbit, a race on Middle Earth. We are very fond of food and drink, eating 6 meals a day. I live in the Shire but recently I've gone on a quest to save Middle Earth. My Uncle Bilbo gave me a Ring and I found out that it's actually the One Ring of Sauron, evil incarnate on Middle Earth. I'm seeking to destroy the Ring and save Middle Earth.

ClawsRCool: Whoa....He lost me after hobbit.

JediMaster: I don't understand how a Ring can be so important.

HJackmanSuks: I'm Doctor Cox and I work at Sacred Heart Hospital. There I take care of the sick, scare all my peons and pester that pain in the ass Chief of Medicine named Bob Kelso. Oh and I have two kids with the woman I hate.

ClawsRCool: The only name I have right now is Logan because some idiots wiped my memories away 15 years ago. I'm called Wolverine because of these…::Pushes his claws up and back down::, but I also can heal instantly from anything, and have a heightened sense of smell. I was conned into joining the X-Men to fight against the evil Magneto who can control metal. I'm also a mutant, and most of the world hates us.

BloodIsGood: I was a human and then this pretty lady turned into a vampire. I killed lots of people and was having a good time until this secret government agency stuck a chip in my brain to stop me hurting people. That's when I joined sides with the Slayer to battle demons like me. I fell in love with her and to please I got my soul back for and battled the First Evil and won. Most humans hate us vampires too because we drink their blood and kill then for fun. :: to Logan::

ClawsRCool: They just hate us because we have powers and they don't.

AuthoressC: Ok guys....I think you've learned to get along for now. Don't think this is over, but we'll return you to your regularly scheduled fandoms!

**OnlineHost: *** You are in "PADDED ROOM OF DOOM TAKE 2". *****

AuthoressC and K: Once again the six characters find themselves in the dreaded Padded Room of Doom!!

BloodISGood: All right, what the hell I was taking a nap.

ClawsRCool: Ah Shit!

RngBearer: Why are we back?

HJackmanSuks: This better be important because this is my only day off!

JediMaster: ::Sighs:: I WAS trying to lead a battle, but SOMEONE thinks this is a more important use of my time.

LiveLongNProsper: Fascinating.

AuthoressC: Yes I do, my lovely Obi!

JediMaster: ::Sighs:: My name is Obi-Wan, not Obi.

BloodISGood: Shut up you pointed ear freak: to Spock::

AuthoressC: I'll call you whatever I want, Obi-dear.

RngBearer ::Looks at Spike confused, thinking he was talking about him::

LiveLongNProsper: ::Raises an eyebrow to Spike::

ClawsRCool: Why are we here this time? We learned to play nice already

BloodISGood:We did?

ClawsRCool: Shut up blood breath

BloodISGood: Look who talking dog breath

AuthoressK: Boys! Not this again!

ClawsRCool: I'm not a dog. Wolverines are part of the weasel family thank you very much!

AuthoressC: I have another 1st gradish idea!!!

BloodISGood: Could've have fooled me

ClawsRCool: ::Extends a claw:: Better watch out batty

AuthoressC: Since SOME of you actually have quite a bit in common, let's split you up into little groups.

Logan and Spike, Frodo and the doctor, and Obi-Wan and Spock

BloodISGood: ::Ignores AuthoressC:: That's only Dracula. He gives us vampires a bad name with all those theatrics.

ClawsRCool: Could've fooled me. ::Rolls eyes::

BloodIsGood: Bloody hell you don't make any sense!

ClawsRCool: And you do?!?!

AuthoressC: I can see this is gonna go well. Split up all of you!

BloodISGood: No, because I'm insane what's your excuse?

AuthoressC: That I can zap you with lightning bolts of doom!!!

BloodISGood: Good you can sodding kill me

AuthoressC: Wouldn't bother me, because you're not my favorite.

BloodISGood: I want to be killed don't you understand?

AuthoressC: Whatever....You don't make any sense!

ClawsRCool: Will you guys stop bugging us if we talk?

AuthoressK: Maybe, and Spike, quit being difficult or you can't go out patrolling tonight

ClawsRCool: Damnit! ::Logan laughs at Spike:: Looks like this Katy person has you on a tight leash!!

AuthoressC: Are you forgetting about yourself Logan? ::Cackles evilly::

BloodISGood: Look who's talking!

ClawsRCool: ::Shudders:: She's one scary bitch...

BloodISGood: ::Looks to Logan with understanding::

AuthoressC: Better watch out....Logy—poo

ClawsRCool: ::Shudders again::

AuthoressK: Christina I think you are more evil to your favorite characters then me!

AuthoressC: Probably.

ClawsRCool: See what I have to put up with!!!

AuthoressK: I got nothing

LiveLongNProsper: I fail to see the point of this conversation

JediMaster: I really need to get back to that battle ::Sigh:: Or the Separatists might win.

ClawsRCool: Where's Scott when I need to pick on him?

HJackmanSuks: Or newbie and his girlfriend Ghandi...

BloodISGood: Yeah I have the strange urge to hit something

ClawsRCool: So do I, let me out of here! I'm fed up with this place.

AuthoressC: Fine...I'll let you out since you're so cute!

ClawsRCool: Damn straight!

AuthoressC: Back into your fandoms...all of you!

JediMaster: Here I come Siri!

RngBearer: Back to Mordor I go...

BloodISGood: Yes... blood... fight....killing demons... and annoying the Slayer

LiveLongNProsper: I have some research to finish

HJackmanSuks: It's about freakin' time!

**OnlineHost: *** You are in "PADDED ROOM OF DOOM TAKE 3". *****

BloodISGood: Bloody hell!

ClawsRCool: Damnit!

JediMaster: Must we endure this again?

LiveLongNProsper: This becoming quite the regular occurrence.

RngBearer: I don't like this place, not that Mordor is much better.

HJackmanSuks: Well thank you captain obvious

ClawsRCool: What do they want us to do NOW?

AuthoressC: Enjoy each other's company!

BloodISGood: You know I had this nice bird waiting for me

RngBearer: Bird?

HJackmanSuks: Jordan is gonna kill me

BloodISGood: It's English for girl

JediMaster: Anakin is for sure going to ruin our quarters un-chaperoned.

RngBearer: English?

LiveLongNProsper: Does anyone have anything productive to say

BloodISGood: Never mind

JediMaster: Productive in what way?

ClawsRCool: ::Goes over to a corner and pops his claws out. Then he goes about trying to tear up the padding.::

LiveLongNProsper: Like trying to ascertain how they are holding us here and somehow breaking free from it

RngBearer: I have no idea, but I am just a hobbit.

JediMaster: Yes, I'm wondering that myself, Spock.

BloodISGood: It has to be some kind of magic.

JediMaster: I don't believe so, these women must have an incredible control of the Force.

ClawsRCool: Or they're mutants.

HJackmanSuks: Or they are just nuts, anyone thought of that?

RngBearer: I believe they could be in league with the Enemy

BloodISGood: Yeah that crossed my mind

AuthoressC: You guys are right, we're nuts....but in a good way

BloodISGood: Right

ClawsRCool: Let us out!

AuthoressC: What do you think K?

AuthoressK: I don't know, they aren't very polite…

RngBearer: Will you please let us all go?

AuthoressC: Must resist big blue eyes….

AuthoressK: We were going to let you guys go anyways, we are getting bored. So go ahead a leave, but we're warning you…that doesn't mean we won't write fanfiction.

**Online Host: BloodISGood, ClawsRCool, RngBearer, HJackmanSuks, LiveLongNProsper, and JediMaster have left the room.**

AuthoressK: I'm bored

AuthoressC: Me too

AuthoressK: What should we do?

AuthoressC: Have you ever heard of the Loud Portal of Doom?

AuthoressK: No, what's that?

AuthoressC: Pop, pop, wonderful glorious pop from the loud portal of DOOM! Where puppies and kitties come together in harmony and bite each other's heads off.

**Online Host: AuthoressK has left the room.**

AuthoressC: What did I say?


End file.
